Cultivating Joy: A Reflection on Faith, Emotions, and the Pursuit of True Well-Being
Greetings!
I have been reflecting recently on the difference between joy and happiness (perhaps not unrelated to the recent release of Inside Out 2!). Existing in a space of joy, to me, is borne out of a joyful spirit. As a person of faith, this comes to me through my relationship with God and my faith in God’s work in my life. Happiness, as I see it, is more situational and external. I can be a joy-filled person, but I might be happy or unhappy at different times. We exist in a culture that seems ever more focused on achieving a consistently happy state, but I wonder if we’re missing the mark? I’ve chosen to focus on cultivating my joy, over my moment-to-moment happiness.
Related, over the past couple of years, I’ve been working my way through Lisa Damour’s The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents. As a parent and an educator, I’ve been reflecting on her observations as I reflect on years of working with adolescents. I have not finished the entire book, but I was particularly struck by her observation of what makes someone mentally healthy – it is not a persistent happiness, but rather demonstration of appropriate emotions matched to situations. For example, if a dear friend moves away, it would be expected that a person would be sad. Or, if one didn’t prepare fully for an exam, interview, etc., it would be expected that the person would feel anxious. The emotion fits the situation, so it’s healthy and appropriate. Where we get concerned is when emotions don’t match situations or when emotions persist for longer than we’d typically expect.
When I think about Damour’s framing of situational emotions, I am left with some affirmation of my own grappling with the differences between joy and happiness. We live in a world of great turmoil but also great beauty. I pray that we can continue to cultivate, as a Christian school, opportunities for our students to cultivate a spirit of joy, grounded in God’s promise for us.
With God’s Hand in Ours,
Jessica Raba
Assistant Head of School | Principal